Stuck in a dingy toilet with you
by pinchpenny
Summary: When you're trapped in a small space with your best friend there's always something to talk about...


**Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon**

**Summary: **When you're trapped in a small space with your best friend there's always something to talk about...

**Stuck in a dingy toilet with you**

Giggling all the while the blonde dragged her obviously irritated friend along the cheap looking cubicles. After passing one with its door barely on its hinges she pushed the other in before quickly scrambling in after her. They barely fit into the small three walled (not including the door) stall, although a certain someone made great care not to go near the suspicious looking public toilet.

"Argh!"

"What is it?"

"It won't lock!" Amethyst orbs looked questioningly into cerulean.

"Do we really need to lock it? I mean… it stinks." Rolling her eyes the blonde replied.

"Oh grow up Rei besides you'll only be in here for a little while."

"Ugh… this better be worth it." Roughly she swapped positions with the scantily clad girl in front of her. Her snow white hands encasing the silver knob in order to turn the stubborn device to change from 'vacant' to 'in use'. With a grunt she completed the needed rotation for the sign to change, "There done, happy now?"

"Immeasurably." Was Minako's chirpy reply, although her answer had caused some confusion on Rei's part. Placing her hands on either shoulder Rei lowered her quizzical gaze to the slightly shorter girl in her hold.

"Are you drunk?"

"Why would I be drunk?"

"You can only say complex words when you're drunk."

"Hey!" Jerkily she swatted away her friend's arms taking a few _drunken _steps back. Unconcerned at the blonde's actions Rei continued.

"Makes me wonder if there really is something within that air filled brain of yours..."

"Rei!"

"Mina."

"Argh! You're so, so vexing!" Amethyst eye's blankly bored into cerulean.

"You're only proving my point." With a huff Minako turned away from the source of her exasperation, "Can you just show me whatever it is you're planning on showing me already?"

With a smile of realization Minako quickly rummaged through her black and gold purse; which matched brilliantly with her shimmering gold dress. It only took a few seconds before she proudly revealed a tube of mascara. Blonde eyebrows rose in expectation of praise.

"Mascara?"

"Yes! Didn't you notice how full and voluminous my eyelashes looked tonight?" Rei's groan didn't register in Minako's happy high.

"Let me get this straight." Rei took extra care to slightly lower her head, being eye level with the infatuating blonde ensure her complete attention, "You brought me into this dodgy toilet and _locked the door_ just to show me some stupid _mascara_ when we could be out there having fun in a club we've wanted to go to for _weeks_?"

"Yep! And it's not stupid, it's a very high-quality brand."

"You're crazy."

"Why thank you- wait what?"

"You're drunk."

"Stop saying that!" At an amethyst knowing stare Minako relented, "Okay so I might've had a... few, drinks."

"You're drunk and I'm getting out of here."

Turning, Rei began fiddling with the ever stubborn knob. Applying more force as time went on as the lock refused to budge. Eyes widening with fear she began to pull and push, rattling the door with her strength. Dread filled her body as she realized exactly what situation she was in.

"Oh no… please Kami no…"

"What's wrong Rei-chan?" After a few more moments of struggling snow white shoulders slumped in defeat.

"The locks jammed."

"Yeah right, like I'd fall for that."

"I'm not lying…"

"Hmph; I'll try for myself," she looked at the obviously jammed and grubby lock, "on second thoughts… I won't."

With an angry sigh Rei leant against the door, her head downcast and eye's closed in thought. Irritation coupled with annoyance seethed out of her in angry dark waves. Clearly she didn't want to be here nor in their current situation. The tension in the air was beginning to get uncomfortable for the blonde.

"I have an idea!"

Those words filled a certain raven haired, amethyst eyed woman with an insurmountable feeling of dread.

_Fwppp! Tckh! Thud!_

"Ack Mina! This is _exactly _the reason why people think we're gay," In their current position, Rei was pinned to the floor with Minako above her, her legs splayed out, "…because of situations like _this_!"

Minako had thought it would be a great idea to exit the cubicle by going over one of the wooden walls. Of course considering her drunken friend Rei offered to go last; ready to catch her if anything went wrong. Unfortunately something did. Minako had misjudged her strength so when she made to lifter herself up and over she… slipped, chipped the toilet seat and into Rei's waiting arms. Although Rei wasn't entirely prepared, thus she buckled under the weight and fell to the floor.

"Whatever… besides the last time someone caught us like this _you _were th-" A searing red blush darted across Rei's face.

"We agreed not to speak of that!" Minako poked out her tongue.

"Enjoying the view?" It was then Rei realized that she had a perfect view of Minako's (lace) underwear but it only caused her to look vacantly at the blonde in front of her.

"Of your panties?"

"Well of course!" She scoffed at the blonde's remark.

"Please, you've given me enough panty shots to last a hundred lifetimes over... and I won't forget the times you've lacked the said panties." Like lightening Minako moved off the other trying to make as much distance between the two, a blush lighting her face.

"I thought we agreed not to speak of _that _incident!"

"Oh yes, that one, don't forget the one in the change room, the bubblegum one, the arcade one, the shoe one – eghh that one still gives me shivers, the zipper one and the-"

"Stop! Just stop I've gotten the point already."

"Whatever do you mean dearest Minako?" Her sarcastic, innocent tone did not go unnoticed, "I still have at least five more to go." With a frown the blonde replied.

"You're incorrigible."

"And utterly wonderful." Headless of Minako's snort Rei continued, "You find any way out yet?"

"Nope."

"Damn."

"So how long have we been in here?"

"Ten minutes."

"What? So long and no one's come to find us? Are they even worried?" Minako began to wipe away fake tears, "I thought they were our friends." Rei only proceeded to lightly slap the blonde out of her melodrama.

"Oh stop it Mina, they probably think we've gone off to do something together."

"Like what?"

"I don't know."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Really, really?"

A tic began to form.

"Really, really."

"Really, really, really?"

The tic grew bigger.

"Really, really, really."

"Really, really, really-"

The tic exploded.

"For Kami's sake Mina, I REALLY DON'T KNOW!" Minako couldn't help but cringe at the sudden sound.

"Geez Rei I was only kidding. Take a chill pill." Letting out a growl at the comment Rei turned around taking in some calming breaths; leaving the blonde staring at her back. Smiling at her actions Minako calmly placed the toilet lid down before sitting on it, crossing her legs. Having calmed down enough Rei turned to face the blonde.

"If I start getting grey hairs prematurely I'm blaming you."

"I'll be sure to have some hair dye on me then." Minako said with a wink.

"I hate it when you're like this."

"Why?"

"Because you act like a three year old." Pouting Minako protested.

"I do not! Besides would a three year old complain about being stuck in this stupid toilet while they could be out picking up some gorgeous, no-doubt delectable guys?" Smirking, Rei questioned the legitimacy of that question.

"I wouldn't know, did _you _think like that when you were three?"

"Rei! That was mean!" Amethyst orbs simply rolled at the comment.

"Great now you sound like Usagi…"

"Would you like me to poke out my tongue too?"

"Ugh please no."

There was silence for a few moments.

"I'm sensing sexual tension here..."

"MINAKO!" was Rei's livid tone Minako edging back, trying to create as much distance between her and the irate raven in front of her.

"H-hey don't get so angry, I can't help it if my love-love senses are tingling!"

"Oh is this your fabled 'love detector' you inherited from Venus?" Rei scathingly asked, not in the mood to deal with childish antics.

"Yep! Besides you really need an outlet for all that tension, if you let that build up who knows who you're going to knock up next?" With a groan the raven massaged her temples, "I'm only looking out for you!"

"Please tell me this isn't happening." Her comment was lost in Minako's brain-to-mouth monologue.

"You might even do it to someone you'll regret! But don't worry you have me and I'll be sure to find you a nice sexy hunk of a guy for you to do, although I call first dibs on the hottest one." Looking at Rei's disbelieving face she rethought her words, "Actually, since it's _you _Rei-chan I'll let you have him 'cause I'm such a nice friend ne?"

Unable to bottle up her frustration and the infatuating blonde Rei once again shouted, "Minako!"

"Whaaat?"

"Have you forgotten that I'm a miko?" Realization hit the girl.

"Riiight, a miko those no sex for life ones..." Cue face palm.

"I made a vow of chastity to Serenity in my past life and besides… I'm quite happy to remain single."

"But Rei-chaaaaaaaaaan…"

"What?"

"You still need to release all that hormonal build-up that you keep so tightly bound up! Or that sexual tension will turn into sexual frustration!"

"Kami-sama _please _kill me now!"

"I'm not lying! Besides do you really intend to die a virgin?"

"I've got a better question: are _you _a virgin?" Rei prayed with fervor that this would distract the blonde.

"Well…" Minako gasped in shock, "you're trying to change the conversation! Answer the question Rei!"

"I'm not going to die a virgin Mina because I'm not _going_ to die, remember?" Minako proceeded to sheepishly smile while scratching her head.

"Riighht… so totally did _not _forget about Crystal Tokyo." Amethyst orbs rolled with dull amusement.

"Just like how you 'so totally did not forget' that I'm a miko."

"Pfft oh please, even _you _know that was the alcohol talking."

"If you're aware that you're drunk I'm guessing your becoming pretty sober right now…" A thoughtful look stretched across the blondes face, her bottom lip jutting out as she chewed her cheek, whilst her index finger came up to tap her chin.

"You know what Rei-chan? I think I am getting sober, that's good right?" an evil smirk was plastered over the miko's face.

"Completely and utterly, fantastic Minako and I'll be the first to welcome you to reality."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Yes Minako we _are _stuck in a toilet."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"I'm not lying to you."

"NOOOOOOO!"

"Are you going to shut up anytime soon?"

"NOOOO!"

"It's getting really annoying."

"NOO!"

"You done now?"

"NO!"

"Oh dear Kami! Shut up!" Roughly Rei closed the blonde's gaping, screaming mouth with her hand, forcefully silencing her voice. Although it did shut the blonde up it provoked a rather violent flinging of her hand when Minako promptly wrenched it off her face, her cerulean eyes blazing all the while.

"Rei how can you _not _be screaming in despair when were _stuck _in this stinky bathroom!"

"Minako, Minako, Minako," her tone was mocking before abruptly becoming scathing, "I've been stuck here with _you_, drunk for the past _half hour _all because _you _wanted to show me some stupid mascara!"

"Well why did you follow me in the first place?" Rei gave the blonde a pointed glare.

"I had no choice remember? _Someone _was holding my hand in a death grip."

"Well you should've used your ultra secret ninja move to escape!"

"I'm a miko not a ninja, m-i-k-o."

"Ninja, miko same thing!"

"I'm not even going to attempt to explain to you the difference. Too many brain cells wasted."

"Rei!"

"What?"

"Why do you have to be so mean for? I mean, we're stuck in this smelly toilet with nothing but each other, can't you afford some type of compassion here?" The raven had paused, her eyes glazing over in a blank look that signified thinking.

"No, not particulary."

"REI!"

"Yes my darling sugar-bunny sweet-cheeks?"

The sarcasm dripping off those words seemed positively _dangerous_.

After an hour of 'prison' the two girls had slumped down in defeat. They sat down across from each other in silent lament. Rei had taken to lowering her head in defeat whilst Minako adamantly glared at the busted lock.

"This is so stupid. We should be out there having fun _not _stuck in this dingy toilet!"

"Tell that to your drunk side, if she had the slightest amount of common sense this wouldn't have happened."

"Well s-soooory Miss I'm-so-perfect-nothing-bad-ever-happens-because-of-me."

"Oh shut-up Mina go take your frustrations out on that lock."

"Fine."

She promptly got up and stared at the grubby lock, the mechanism of simplicity seemingly susceptible to something as menial as an oiling. Silence plagued the vacant bathroom the dull roar of the bass it's only companion. Still Minako soldiered on for a solution to their predicament. Five minutes later Rei had enough of it. With a long suffering sigh she got up to join her blonde friend with her staring.

"Ne, Rei-chan."

"Yeah?"

"Which was were you turning the lock?"

"I dunno, um… left?"

"Hmm…" With a nod Minako once more returned her attentions to the lock. Her confusing antics caused Rei to arch an ever-ready eyebrow.

Finally after five minutes of deliberating silence Minako put her slender lightly tanned hand firmly around the lock. A deep breath and pause (for dramatic effect) she turned the mechanism right.

…and it happily opened.

The open door swung open, it's awkward creaking filling the room.

Minako's cerulean orbs locked with shocked amethyst.

"Ne, Rei-chan… Are you drunk?"

**FIN.**


End file.
